IN this time of crisis, how do you intend to be better?
Being confined at home most of the time due to lockdown may give us the wrong sense of being stagnant and not growing.
Maybe yes or may be not. But for me, this became an opportunity to understand myself, others and improve in relationships. Learning to deal with conflict is one thing I strive to grow.
Before the pandemic, we have our own things or activities outside home where we spent most of our working time. My husband and I are both ministering to different groups while our daughter is busy with her studies.
When the pandemic struck, things changed. Our close proximity has exposed our once set-aside differences.
Respecting boundaries, meeting family needs, understanding and empathizing with each others’ feelings, changes in budgeting, how to keep order in the house, etc. are just some of the common issues we have gone through. And it was not easy.
Thank God, I did not give in to conflict to get the worst of me. Instead, it developed something in me while dealing with conflicts.
Conflict happens between two parties, whether at home or even at work, when there is disagreement in values, actions, and preferences. Oftentimes what we see are just the symptoms and not the root causes of conflict.
Differences in personality, values, habits, and upbringing are the common causes of conflict.
The degree of conflict and its solution can vary depending on the maturity, skills, and outlet that each party possesses.
Let me start by pointing two important skills that could possibly help you to process conflict management.
Emotional Intelligence
What is difficult in conflict management is handling the emotions it brings. The feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment are some of the negative emotions we deal with while we are in conflict with someone.
Aim to pacify negative emotions and pursue a positive and effective atmosphere before settling the conflict.
This can happen when we recognize how you and another party feel. Let us give space to
vent out negative emotions in a non-destructive way. We need to have a time out when emotions are too intense. It is better to discuss the issue when both are in a more stable disposition, and besides it is easier to think logically when emotions are not that high.
Lastly, we arrive at agreeable solutions when we can empathize and listen with others’ feelings and perspectives.
Communication Skills
Communicate well when we want to arrive at a conflict solution. Both parties express their
agreement to resolve the conflict. When we want an effective communication, we observe the exchange of ideas, opinions, and feelings of both parties in a clear and honest manner.
Always try to actively listen and allow each other to speak without being interrupted. And then, clarify things and allow the other party to know what you understand and do not understand.
By doing so we can arrive at solution options that include meeting both party’s needs. This is what we call a win-win solution.
Remember in a win-win solution we are not after how we gain but how we regard each other.
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you
regard one another as more important than himself.” – Philippians 2:3.
Aim to be better
