A FAMILY in Alcoy, Cebu has accused their local parish of denying their deceased father a funeral blessing after playing cards were used during his wake.
In a lengthy social media post that went viral, the family said they were informed that their father would not be blessed because the use of playing cards during the pamilar, a traditional wake practice, was considered a form of gambling prohibited by the Parish Pastoral Council (PPC) of Sta. Rosa de Lima Parish.
The family said the playing of cards was part of a long-standing cultural tradition meant to keep vigil during extended wakes, and was not intended as gambling. They expressed distress over what they described as the sudden enforcement of a rule that resulted in their father being deprived of a funeral blessing.
“We violated the rule, and we are now facing the consequences,” the family wrote, adding that while they acknowledged the parish’s regulations, they questioned why the penalty appeared to fall on the deceased rather than those who were still alive.
They also said they felt humiliated and emotionally burdened by the decision, particularly as they had been active supporters of church activities in their community.
The family questioned why no parish official or relative involved in the matter reached out to them directly before the decision was enforced.
“Why was there no attempt to speak to even one of us before allowing us to go through this pain?” the post read.
The family said their siblings spent an entire day seeking alternative arrangements, including approaching a neighboring parish in Boljoon, but claimed these efforts were unsuccessful. They also denied accusations that they acted in bad faith, reiterating that the card-playing tradition had been observed for years in the community.
Amid their grief, the family appealed for privacy and asked relatives and church volunteers not to visit them temporarily, saying they needed space to process their sorrow, anger, and sense of humiliation.
Following the backlash, Sta. Rosa de Lima Parish released a statement, denying claims that it barred the deceased from receiving a funeral Mass.
The parish said families are instead given a choice between continuing gambling activities during wakes or allowing the Church to accompany them through prayers and the celebration of funeral rites.
“Out of respect for the sacredness of the Mass and the dignity of the deceased, the family must choose only one: gambling or funeral Mass,” the parish said, adding that it does not forbid gambling but discourages it within wake areas in line with Catholic teaching on reverence for the dead.
The parish executive committee said the policy was agreed upon by a majority of parishioners after years of consultations and was formally adopted during the Parish Annual Assembly on August 15, 2023. It also denied claims that it contacted other parishes to prevent the family from securing funeral rites elsewhere.
“This is not a punishment to the family, but a protection of the sanctity of the liturgy,” the parish said.
